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realistic goal setting for women
Let’s talk about goal setting—but not just to check boxes or to become “that girl” overnight. This is your reminder that your rebrand, your reset, your fresh start doesn’t *need* to happen on January 1st for it to matter. It can begin today. Or in the spring when motivation strikes. Or whenever you’re ready.
Let’s be real: it’s mid-January, and if you are anything like me, it can be tempting to start to spiral because you haven’t done all the things you should have done. You haven’t set any goals, refined your vision. Instead you have been binge watching journal ecosystem videos on YouTube with $250 worth of planner supplies in your cart…. (not talking from personal experience or anything!!!)
Today we are going to chat about how goal setting isn’t just about checking things off a list just to feel productive. It’s about choosing goals that are rooted in your vision and your values. The kind of goals that actually make sense for your real life, your current season, your energy levels, your dreams, not just to match someone else’s aesthetic.
step one of realistic goal setting: the dreaming phase
Before we put too much pressure on ourselves, you need space to dream.
Get yourself in a cozy mood. Light a candle, pour a coffee or tea, and just be for a moment. Let your mind wander and write out EVERYTHING that comes to mind.
Who do I want to be by the end of 2026?
What would my days feel like if I fully leaned into the life I want?
What routines, habits, or relationships would be part of that life?
This part is all about getting everything out of your brain, not logistics.
Some tools I love to use during this phase are Pinterest, my camera roll and old journals! These things inspire me and my camera roll and old journals can help remind me that I may already be living aspects of my dream life that I envisioned in years past.
step two: name your year anchors
Once you’ve let yourself dream big, it’s time to ground those dreams in the reality of your year ahead.
Year anchors are the things already on your calendar—the non-negotiables, the events or rhythms that take up your capacity
EXAMPLE: For me this year, that includes having a baby, being in postpartum recovery, shooting a weddings in the summer, and church on Sundays.
These anchors help create realistic boundaries. If your calendar already includes things that will take up emotional, mental, or physical energy, your goals need to work around and with those, not against them.
step three: define your vision
Let’s talk about the difference between goals and vision.
Goals are what you do. Vision is who you’re becoming.
This is the heart work. You might have a goal to cook more, or read more, or spend less time on your phone—but the deeper question is why do you want to do that? What kind of life are you moving toward? What kind of person do you want to be?
Ask yourself:
Who do I want to be by the end of 2026?
What do I want my daily and weekly life to feel like?
How do I want to spend my time, my energy, and my attention?
A quote I keep coming back to is: “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” -Annie Dillard
This part might feel a bit more abstract, but it’s so worth sitting with. A clear vision is what gives your goals meaning. It helps you stay anchored when motivation fades. If your goals aren’t tied to a deeper why, they’re just another set of tasks and that is the opposite of what we are going for!!
step four: refine your goals
Now it’s time to look at everything you have written down and start shaping it into something tangible.
Go back to everything you wrote or dreamed up earlier in your brain dump and start sorting it into categories. These might include:
Motherhood
Health & wellness
Home & routines
Creativity & hobbies
Faith & personal growth
Business & career
Hopefully you will naturally see some themes emerging, which is the goal! At this point, you will also want to evaluate letting go of things that don’t align. If you wrote down something that feels off or doesn’t fit your capacity or season, it’s okay to let it go for now. You can always come back to it later.
step five: attach systems to your goals.
Now we get practical!!
Let’s take one of my goals, which is to read 20 books this year. Because I have the tendency to spend too much time on the internet, there will never be a time in which I will just *happen* to read 20 books, I need to create a system for that to happen. I need to make it EASY to do.
In my current stage of life, my Kindle is my way that I achieve this. So I decided to make it easy to reach my goal, I needed to preload my Kindle with books I’m excited about. I now have 20 books ready to be read on my Kindle, which takes the decision making out of it!
Another example: one of my goals is to keep this podcast consistent, even with a newborn. That means creating systems—having conversations about childcare support, blocking off filming time, and batch recording content.
Creating systems can also be a good reminder of your capacity, because when you start to break down a goal you can see how much time it is *actually* going to take up!
step six: make it visual
Please don’t let your beautiful goals live only in your journal!! The worst thing you can do is all this work of brainstorming and dreaming only for you to close the journal and not look at it until this time next year.
I highly recommend making a physical visual reminder. I love a good vision board, but if that feels like too much work, you can also just write your goals out and put them on your bathroom mirror, or in a little frame by your bedside. We want to be continually reminding ourselves of our vision so we can keep showing up!!
final mindset reminders
REMINDER #1: You are not late. You are not behind.
REMINDER #2: You absolutely do not have to chase goals just because they look good online. I fall into this trap all the time—especially in the wedding industry. I see other photographers booking 25 weddings a year and think, “okay I should do that too!!” But then I have to remind myself that in my current season, I don’t want to be away from my family that much. It isn’t aligned with my vision.
REMINDER #3 Your goals may shift mid-year, and that is okay! Life ebbs and flows, the more you can embrace that and be okay with your goals and vision changing, the more likely you are to finish the year well.
I hope this encourages you to reflect and reset. To step into the rest of 2026 with clarity and intention.
how to do a full digital reset for 2026 You can have the coziest morning routine. Be making the most nourishing meals. Have your home looking aesthetic and organized down to the last basket label. But if your phone and digital life is chaos, it will seep into everything. Today we’re talking all things digital […]
Productivty + Habits for the type b / adhd girls who have tried it all
the podcast.
hot mess habits
Let's be real, some of the productivity advice on the internet is a little intense....
That’s where Hot Mess Habits comes in. This podcast is all about realistic productivity for everyday girls who want to build habits and routines that actually fit their lives. If you have tried your whole life to be productive, have the perfect "that-girl" life, but have only been able to hold it together for a week at the time, this podcast is for you!
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