Cannot believe I am already well into my third trimester! This pregnancy has been *so* different than my first in so many ways (less anxiety, more mom life responsibilities). I truly feel like I am in a constant state of having contrasting emotions: I am soaking in every moment of just our little family of three, but also so over being pregnant. I am loving having a bump and feeling baby move, but so over not being able to sleep and acid reflux. Motherhood truly is a journey of two things being true at the same time, and I am really feeling the weight of that in this season.

THE EMOTIONS OF IT ALL

My heart is aching with the changes ahead. I am a girl of nostalgia, constantly feeling sick over moments that happened yesterday, knowing I can never go back to the person I was just days before. Theodore is constantly evolving before me, suddenly spewing new phrases or leaning into mannerisms I have never seen. I know that my time is about to be more stretched, my ability to notice the little moments more limited, and it is heavy for me to carry the knowledge that we are just simply entering into a new phase of our family.

There was a night last week where we stayed up late past typical toddler bedtime and so when it came time to tuck Theodore in for the night, he held my hand and fell asleep so quickly. I couldn’t help reminiscing to all those newborn nights with him, to look at his hand and see how much it has changed and grown right before my very eyes. He is still my baby, but looking more and more like a little boy each day, and I know that the second we lay eyes on our next baby, he will truly look like a little boy to me.

“Can you really love another kid?”

“Do you still feel the same love?”

“How hard was the transition?”

Have all been common questions I have asked my fellow mom friends. It truly feels impossible that your heart could stretch open even wider to a whole new person joining your family, but they all assure me that I am going to be fine, that your love really does grow.

One thing mentioned to me from a friend was how beautiful it sounds when you start saying “the kids” (instead of just referring to your toddler by name), and how it really makes you feel like a family.

I don’t know if *grieving* is the proper word, but I have very much been processing this transition as we say goodbye to our family of 3, our time with Theodore as an only child, giving him our full attention, and welcoming in this next season of a family of 4.

HOW THE ACTUAL PREGNANCY IS GOING

Something shifted in me in November (probably as I was entering 3rd trimester), and I could feel my entire body and energy levels slowing down. Major regrets that I didn’t start nesting sooner because oh my goodness I have so much to get done and not a whole lot of time left to do it.

Some of my symptoms:

• Acid Reflux always (note to self: DO NOT EAT PIZZA!)
• Pelvic Pain (especially at night when I lay down at the end of the day, but starting to be more frequent)
• So sweaty at night ugh
• Peeing all the time
• A bit of insomnia, though sometimes the pelvic pain keeps me up at night so this one is harder to confidently say
• Braxton Hicks
• Always tired, but I can feel my energy really crash around 4pm

WHAT IS DIFFERENT ABOUT THIS PREGNANCY

• Not knowing the gender! I have actually enjoyed this a lot more than I thought I would, but the last few weeks have been so tempting to find out
• My doctor being 1.5 hours away, and her not being the one to deliver my baby. I wasn’t able to get into a midwife (or doctor) locally, so I have to drive for all my appointments, and they won’t be the one to deliver at my closest hospital. Thank goodness this is my second baby or I would be freaking out about this fact
• Of course, having a toddler. Last time I was able to rest so much more at the end, because when I got to that 4pm mark, I could just lay down for the rest of the day. This time I am playing Magnet Tiles on the ground, lifting my toddler into the bath, making dinner, etc. Levi has been such a huge support, but there is no denying that it is a lot harder on your body when you have other kids!

WHAT I AM ANXIOUS ABOUT RIGHT NOW

• Making it to the hospital (we live about 30 minutes from the hospital and I really don’t want to wait too long at home / give birth on the side of the road lol)
• The transition from 1-2. Theodore has already been very clingy towards me as we approach the end of this pregnancy, and I am definitely nervous what that will look like as a new baby is here
• Postpartum. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Last time I didn’t think (or plan) very much for postpartum season and woah it was just so much more intense than I expected. I don’t know if it is *better* that I know what I am getting myself back into, or causing me more anxiety haha. I am doing as much as I can to prep, but overall, I am not ready to be sleep deprived again.

WHAT I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT

• Theodore meeting the baby for the first time (AH I GET TEARY THINKING ABOUT IT)
• Being in the newborn bubble again (truly closest spiritual feeling to heaven I have ever had)
• Baby clothes!!!! eek
• Sleeping on my stomach again
• That post-birth high

Despite all the crazy contrasting emotions, I am excited for this next season and all that it brings for our family 🫶🏻

WANT TO FEEL LIKE WE ARE OVER FACETIME INSTEAD? watch my video recap:

CATCH UP ON ALL THE MOM LIFE POSTS:

WHAT’S ON MY THIRD TRIMESTER NIGHTSTAND

EARLY POSTPARTUM MUST-HAVES

POSTPARTUM HABITS FOR ADHD MOMS